[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
Huh, it's probably the military that put
these tripmines here in the first place.
And they just go and run into them.
I don't get it; they bomb each other,
they can't figure out who the civilians are,
Yeah, look, look how easy it is.
Though, I... guess I'd have to
learn how to play guitar...
And why does it wait so long for you to get
on here, but up there it's like a sprint?
Am I really the first
person to notice this?
[radio bleeping]
Oh, not this again!
[radio bleeping]
Please stop that!
[radio bleeping]
Okay, I asked nicely, what more can I do?
[radio bleeping]
Who's punching in Morse code?
[radio bleeping]
I don't speak Morse code!
They're probably talking smack
about me on the radio.
Well I'm not gonna stand for it!
I've worked too hard to
get to where I am!
MY DIPLOMA'S WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!
Screw this, I'm just going to wait for
them to come around the corner again.
The dumb ones are all dead so
the survivors are a little bit smarter.
Well, that was a learning experience.
You guys had to ruin the moment.
Well, you guys are all bastards anyway,
so I guess nothing has really been lost.
I thought I would start feeling
weird about killing all these people,
That's because they're all
pricks and deserved to die.
I'll make a speech at the
funerals if someone wants me to.
I have no problem with going up
to a grieving widow and telling her
I'm sorry for her loss, but her husband was
a rat-fuck meathead who tried to kill me
because he was too stupid to
learn what the word "civilian" means.
If I hadn't put him down,
he probably would've come home
later and strangled you in your sleep.
And not in the kinky way, either.
I know how you base wives are.
[turret beeping]
Uh oh. The beeping.
[turret beeping]
Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep.
Beepbeep--oh, hey, it's down.
Hah! I can do your job, too!
But I don't like to beep too much.
It reminds me of that Muppet.
That's how The Man finds you.
Okay, "Maintenance Shaft",
that could be anything.
Half this building is a
maintenance shaft.
What's that big room, is that
where the monster is?
What about this radiation pit?
"High Voltage", that has to be
where I came from.
But, what the hell is with
these distances then?
Why are parts of this grayed out?
WHY IS THERE NO EXIT ON THIS MAP?!
This map is bullshit, I'm going
to find my own way out of here.
That map has to be bogus, it
only lists one area as being dangerous.
It needs to have, like, thirty.
You could even write
"Here be dragons" on it
and that would almost be more
accurate than nothing at all.
Yeah, see, it doesn't even list
"F-712DH".
How could you forget to put that down?
I mean, I would've named it
"Hell Pit #48", but,
if the cartographer doesn't care
about that name then who will?
I guess they just looked at the AutoCAD
layout and took some numbers off of that
Speaking of which, why do drafters
always listen to country music?
I never figured that out.
What's the correlation/connection there?
[rumbling, garganuta roars]
Sounds like someone smuggling
an elephant up there.
That almost wouldn't surprise me at--
[vortigaunt charges up]
OH COME ON!
YOU GUYS ARE SPROUTING UP LIKE WEEDS!
You know, I'm thinking this suit
needs some more rubber.
Actually, what would be sweet is
if I had a layer of it all around me
Then I could fall from high distances
and just bounce wherever I wanted to.
If I had enough rubber, I could
fall from almost a limitless height,
though I'd have to be careful because the
recoil might give me a concussion then.
Hey, man, you didn't miss ANYTHING good.
You made the right choice staying here.
GUARD: I'm... never gonna make it.
GUARD: You'd better go on without me.
All right, let me get this
sucker fired up, then.
"Track Power: Off"? What the
fuck's that supposed to mean?!
God dammit, shit, bitch, fucker...
I am not happy right now.